Written
by David Santangelo
on Thursday, 14 October 2010.
"Relationship is the way in which we walk, in which we grow, in which we see ourselves in somebody else completely as the holy mirror, the divine mirror, the reflection of The All within us. This is the purpose of relationship, the real purpose, to see oneself in another completely, and to walk through this other as the perfect vehicle to the realization of God, which is the realization of the essence of you." The Way Home p.53
I am always amazed at what transpires between couples at our couples workshops. I do not think there is any harder path than the path of relationship-my apologies to all the ascetics out there, but relationship is as tremendous a challenge and opportunity for awakening as exists in this world.
Julia and I facilitated a couples retreat at Breitenbush Hot Springs this past weekend, and there was a point in the weekend in which we split up the men and the women. At first the women gathered with me and the men with Julia. Then we switched, I took the men and she the women. The idea was to open each sex to the parallels that are at play in the larger masculine/feminine dynamic, the truths and patterns that we all work with-much larger than any individual or couple.
With the men, we first spent some time in circle discussing purpose. It seems to me that purpose is foremost on our minds as men, the key to our availability, our happiness, our presence. We then went to the forest (the old growth Emerald Forest that surrounds Breitenbush is an astoiunding and magical place) on a silent expedition to locate a sacred object that represented our purpose. Once found, this object was to be given to the woman, in ceremony, for her safe-keeping, her cultivation, her care and support.
This giving of our purpose as men to the woman for her cultivation and care was a powerful exchange. What this means, in the way of medicine, is that this object that represents our purpose, our gifts, our work in the world as men, is actually not in our own keeping but in the keeping of our woman. It is ours as men, yet it lives in her medicine bundle or mesa. This, as Wake Wheeler of Sacred Pathways pointed out to me, puts us as men in quite a conundrum for it means, in order to access this medicine, we must be in right relationship with our woman! And if we are, we access this medicine not only with our own masculine power, but also the deep feminine support, love, and trust. Aho. Now this is the power of relationship.